Gay and Lesbian Online Dating first dates
By the time you find yourself getting prepared for your first date, you probably feel like an old pro at the internet portion of gay and lesbian online dating. After all, you’ve become a master at flirting with the computer screen, you’ve openly giggled all by yourself during a chat session, and you’ve probably learned how to read more into what is actually being said to bolster your imagination. Yes and now chapter two of gay and lesbian online dating. All that chatting and emailing you did has paid off and you are dashing around the house trying to figure out which jeans compliment your “going position” as well as your “standing position.”
First dates for gay couples are always challenging. Just picking a place can be difficult, unless of course you come from one of those towns that offer only one or two establishments where you will be welcome. Some first dates for gay couples are intentionally held in straight establishments so that any type of unwanted physical contact isn’t likely to happen or can be easily discouraged. Just like with blind dates, gay and lesbian online dating offers all the first date jitters that are the hallmark tradition in the dating game. Will they be as funny as they were online or did they have a handy friend sitting nearby supplying them with material? Are they still the same person that they were in their photograph or did they use one from ten years ago? Do I look bulky in this?
When you are planning a first date for gay couples, remember to exchange vital information about how to find each other. Nothing makes a person more nervous than walking around conspicuously fully aware that they are making themselves look silly while trying to locate the other half of the date. It’s nerve wracking. Neither of you need any help in that arena. One of the most basic rules of gay and lesbian online dating is making sure that your first several meetings take place in a public place. This is to help keep you safe. It also helps to give you a little extra time to remind yourself that just because it’s been a couple of months—or years—you don’t have to satisfy your needs with the first human that walks upright and can do more than grunt through a conversation.
If you have taken the fairly slow path to gay and lesbian online dating then you most likely have already spoken on the phone, gotten a pretty good idea whether this individual has potential, and whether you believe that there could be more than just one date. However, don’t ask for a commitment ceremony or allude to life long commitments on the first date. This may seem like an obvious statement, but those of us who played on the block for awhile know that this snippet of information needs to be included. Take your time.
Gay and lesbian online dating is a definite adventure. First dates for gay couples are also definite adventures. Laugh at yourself. Laugh at the world around you. Do not laugh at your date. If you are experiencing dater’s regret, it is okay to cut the evening a little short and even be honest about not really being interested. But there is no need to cut them down or humiliate them because they didn’t measure up to your expectations. Play nice while you’re out there. Offer a firm handshake or even a well meaning hug before leaving and wish them the best. If you need to get on with the giggle—fest then simply wait until you can reach a friend by phone. Just because the two of you didn’t hit off romantically doesn’t mean that keeping a new friend is a consolation prize. Some great friendships have grown from blown dates.
When choosing to pursue gay and lesbian online dating as a method of meeting new people, don’t make assumptions about the person’s availability or interest in the potential for a monogamous relationship. Ask direct questions in order to get direct answers. While this stage should really be accomplished during that giggling at the computer screen stage, there is nothing wrong with determining face to face that you are not infiltrating someone else’s territory and becoming an unwitting home wrecker. First dates for gay couples are obviously about finding out more about the individual you might be interested in. People who fail to represent the truth may do so with no problem while sitting behind a keyboard but not be able to tell bold face lies while sitting in front of you in a romantic setting. Gay and lesbian online dating is filled with pitfalls just like everything else. A little caution helps weed out those who will ultimately waste your time and hurt someone else deeply.
When transitioning from gay and lesbian online dating to first dates for gay couples, there are bound to be awkward moments. If this is your first date with someone you met through a GLBT dating site then you are probably feeling awkward from the beginning. Relax. What you are doing is perfectly normal and the more relaxed you are, the more the date will flow naturally.
One of the biggest absolutely do not’s in gay and lesbian online dating as well as engaging in first dates for gay couples is the divulging of your sad life story that requires a box of tissues, three rum and cokes, and a phone call with your therapist to complete. It is a well cited fact that most people in the GLBT community have suffered greatly in their life. Do not use a first date as therapy. Allow people to get to know you a little but before you start laying out the big guns. If you need a therapist, go get one. If you need a date, put the therapy on hold and have some fun. Laughter is great medicine and isn’t nearly as likely to chase your date out the door before the appetizers arrive.